Excerpt From “The Existentialist Cookbook of Jean-Paul Sartre” – Galette des Rois

Galette des Rois

almond paste
sugar (granulated, confectioners)
2 eggs
a creeping sense of dread
puff pastry
small ceramic baby Jesus


1. Consider the Christ Child. Weak. Humble of origin. Needy.
2. Consider the Kings – Casper, Balthazar and Melchior – who traveled across the desolate landscape to find him.
3. Ask yourself what three grown men would want with a baby.
4. Construct the cake by mixing everything together while you contemplate their motivations.
5. Wrap the filling in the puff pastry and bake it.
6. Glaze and sugar the exterior of the baked tart.
7. Abscond with the Baby Jesus, for his own safety.
8. Place him in a safe location, where nobody will find him, least of all those three “Kings.”
9. Eat the cake alone, periodically checking to see if the “Kings” have arrived yet. Draw your blinds.
10. When they arrive, make sure you are prepared.
11. List the gold, frankincense and myrrh for sale on Craigslist.

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