Mashed Potatoes
Ingredients
Several pounds of fresh potatoes
Water
Salt
Butter
Ambivalence
Cream
Directions
1. Wash the potatoes of their sins.
2. Gouge out the eyes of the potatoes. Contemplate whether they deserved it or not.
3. Peel the potatoes, and cut them into small cubes. Carry on, though you will tire quickly of this menial task.
4. Place the potatoes into salted water on the stove.
5. Light the burner and watch the pot, willing it not to boil.
6. Feel defeated when it does anyway.
7. Drain the potatoes once they have boiled and are tender, like the as-yet-unspoiled will of a child.
8. Mash them, freeing yourself of your angst for one blissful moment.
9. Cry into them, salting them to taste.
10. Add butter and cream to achieve a desired consistency.
god america i 